Move Journal Four: Three Sins

I am living three of our culture's greatest sins:
Homelessness --- Joblessness --- Prejudice

What does this mean for me?
And what does this mean for my faith?
Do these cultural sins make me a bad Christian?

Sunday night, I attended a cool inner-city brethren church. Then we drove past a possible place to live... and I completely freaked out because it was in an African-American Ghetto. Yesterday I had two job interviews and today I have one. It's a job competition, and as a hip and trendy white girl, I got all the extra interviews that the young black-girls sitting around me... didn't. Well, if THEY knew how to shop for clearance dress slacks and the local New England Target... Right now, as I sit in Panera Bread, eating my Asiago Bagel and drinking a rich dark house blend while listening to classical music and typing on my laptop -- I think to myself:

When did I become such an elitist bitch?

Didn't I leave the prejudice of the South behind me? Weren't we minority euros in LA? Remember when I was on WIC coupons and the only one in the room speaking English? Remember when my minor Prophet asked me why he couldn't have dark hands like everyone else in his preschool class? When did I become too white to live in a black neighborhood?

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/I can't seem
to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
so insecure

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
distracting/reacting
against my will I stand beside my own reflection
it's haunting how I can't seem...

to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
so insecure

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing what is real
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/confusing what is real

--lyrics courtesy of Linkin Park