Moving: Fear of the Unknown
Today I remembered how we came to Boston w/o income and without a home... and the subsequent homelessness, hopelessness, despair and anxiety seriously sucked. But we knew we were coming here for Q's studies, so we had a goal. When we move to Philly, we won't even have that. Granted, we're moving closer to family, into a (slightly) lower cost of living... but damn if it doesn't feel pretty bloody risky.
People here like me right now. I'm not sure why, but they do. I'm doing good work and they don't want to see me go. I mention to my boss that I can't afford to live here and a week later they give me a bloody pay raise... not enough to make up for Q's research stipend, but a nice little chunk of cash.
Will I be able to find a relative pay scale for a job I can reasonably perform as a working mom in order to provide a better quality of life for my family?
Damn.
One foot in front of the other, keep walking, keep moving, keep looking...
4 comments:
Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! ;-)
Thanks!
Don't worry, I Ain't Dead Yet!
BTW - I like you! You're Fun!
I kinda know this fear of which you speak. Calvin still doesn't have a job, but ready or not, here we come. I hope we're doing the right thing.
I definitely know this loathing of moving...
Ug. Hang in there!
Hi Mandy!
You know, having been EXACTLY in your situation, I think ya'll are doing a good thing.
When we were making plans to move to Los Angeles for Fuller Theological Seminary, we had a newborn, no place to live, no income, AND it was a 3,000 mile move into uncharted territory. But, God provided everything we needed... maybe not everything we wanted, but everything we needed.
I now look back on our time on Los Angeles as the best of times AND the worst of times. And, we were able to endure the worst, enjoy the best, and come out better for it all.
Oddly - the existence we've had SINCE Fuller has been more challenging in many ways. BUT, because we stepped out in faith and survived, our marriage, our family and our spiritual lives are much stronger for having made the journey.
We're praying for you guys!
Peace will be with you!
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